WARNING: THIS IS A DISCLAIMER TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THE FOLLOWING IS A PARODY AND A WORK OF FICTION. THIS PRESS CONFERENCE DID NOT HAPPEN AND PRESIDENT OBAMA DID NOT SAY THIS. THIS IS A PARODY, YOU KNOW, LIKE THEY DO ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. BUT BECAUSE OF THE OVER SENSITIVITY OF LEFT WING, SOCIALIST, "PROGRESSIVE" LIBERALS, I HAVE TO WRITE THIS BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING TO BE OFFENDED. BUT I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ANYWAY BECAUSE LIBERALS HAVE BEEN OFFENDING PEOPLE FOR OVER A HUNDRED YEARS AND THEY DON'T CARE, SO WHY SHOULD I?
From the last press conference with President Obama that never existed. The President enters the room, everyone stands and the President signals everyone to be seated. The President then begins to speak:
"Good afternoon. I am hear to announce today, that with all of the turmoil that is going on in our country and the world today, that the First Lady and I have decided to totally commit ourselves in a cause very dear to us. Michelle and I will totally dedicate ourselves to this cause; and we shall not rest, - - - we will leave no stone unturned, - - - we will explore every avenue, - - - we will exhaust every option, - - - we will negotiate and have talks with everyone that we can and we shall never quit until - - - we get an invitation to the upcoming Royal Wedding in England with Prince William and - - - what's her name again? Kate, yes that's right Kate what's her name.
"I am now returning to the oval office to begin this quest by phoning my good friend, Sir Paul McCartney, whom you all well know performed for us here at the White House a short while ago when I gave him some award, which I can't recall at this time what it was called. Sir Paul prayed to me - - - excuse me, I mean praised me so eloquently while he was here. So I must leave now and get right to work with the First Lady. Not only must we secure these invitations, but we must also pick out a nice wedding gift. We are thinking of autographed first editions of all my books. Thank you very much."
The President then quickly leaves the podium and exits the room.
